tara says:

we need to stop living on an old-lady schedule and join the rest of the college world in staying up late.
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meeting tara for breakfast.

okay, i know i promised a detailed account of the fabulousness of london but that will have to wait til i have some time to really do it justice.
beginning of classes were suprisingly awesome. i have been to over half of them and was thrilled that zack is in my early english class. plus the prof is amazingly cool. i rock in french. adv. painting will be (i'm running out of superlatives) fuckin rad.

andrew is too cute.
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witness my packing prowess.

i packed yesterday and i am triumphant in the fact that i could fit what i was bringing into the british airways shoulderbag i always carry around with me. and it is way lighter than it usually is now that it is filled with clothing and not cds, a harddrive, and books. even the self-proclaimed master of packing (dad) asked me to look over what he was bringing to perhaps lighten his load. i did. we will be sleek chic travellers of the wilds of london.

nine days of britain.
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    tapping my feet till we leave for the airport

come.. i will make the robot look like you

so, days and days ago, i shut down my onion personal. it came from the distinct feeling that there was lots of inappropriate leering at my picture by over 30s in business suits. after months of no responses, i suddenly got some from really icky sounding guys. one 33 yr old in particular interested in "throw-down fuck fests". i was totally turned off. hence, no more personal.

i am still putting off packing, which is making dad anxious.
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    the osbournes theme song in my head. crazy.


so, yes! i got back at a comfortably early-afternoon hour today having been out of my house for (gasp) over 24 hrs. i refilled my prescriptions. then i had an epiphany. kind of. i thought, i've been putting this off for too long.. i'm going to get a new id card. however, after running into zu on the way into the mitchell building and getting a very pleasant hug, the chick at the desk wanted to charge me 20 bucks to get a new card. now, contrary to popular belief, they don't always charge you $20 to get a new id. according to policy, they only charge you when you've lost your id or there is intentional damage to the card. she was charging me money not because of what looks like a wild dog bite in my card, but the very clean, unmutilated hole punch in the card. well, it goes without saying that i was shocked, shocked that they would take advantage of me like that and after some terse words with the girl's equally infuriating supervisor, i left.. sans new card.

so i bitched on the phone to tara the whole way to her house. while we were hanging out, curled up under the blanket in her bed, we discussed how cool it would be if we could think of something really cool to do. what do other people do? tara said, "well... i guess some people sit in chairs". that made my day. so we drank weird flavored hot chocolate (mine was mint) and watched jesus's son then went over to rory's and saw this really weird japanese musical with dancing zombies that was all about family values and how the family that buries people together, stays together.
and andrew called just as i was nodding off on the couch.

tara and i went out to the bagel place and had yummy breakfast. and now i'm here. back home.

one of the best quotes from the movie: "yes, i am in the US Navy... or, to be more precise, the British Royal Navy"
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    nuggets vol. one

i emerge- purveyor of circuitous rambling

okay, i lied. my mom awoke me this morning before she went to the hospitol and told me the roads would be too bad to drive down to dc in. i rolled over and told her the easiest method to get the MHC's number. call the number on my prescription and say whoops! i thought i had the mental health center.. can you gimme the number. which mom graciously did and changed my appt. so now it is dc tomorrow.

i spent much of the day feeling catatonic and drinking way too much water while watching really good fabulisticaly spectacular old buffys. and on one of my short internet breaks i spent way too much money on a london cityguide. (i payed more for superfast shipping due to our imminent departure). i haven't stepped outside the door in what feels like weeks. i know it's been days.

tonight when my mom came home from hopkins, i made her sit and watch what is truly my most chill-inducing freaky horrible tv habit ever: 7th heaven. i swear it is worse than last night's enron: the unshredded truth or even tonight's embarassing, yet hard-to-look-away train wreck, joe millionaire. the heaven show is like a shrill whistle boring into your brain. i have no sympathy for any of the characters. i yell about how mind-blowingly awful the show is throughout the hour i am glued to the set. strangely, the show is like a teen sex romp as staged by stodgy puritans who were bound and gagged and made to share a malibu beach house with an enclave of obsessive compusive chocoholics. (i am not trying to diminish any of the aforementioned conditions). none of the characters are likable and i am always apalled that the middle sister is always has some ken doll dogging her with an engagement ring. oh yeah. and everybody is is fixated on marriage. (of course in a realistic portrayal of a large american family) every child is fixated on marriage. i wonder who passed these scripts? already, i have wasted enough space on something that can never be truly explained.

on another front, this email thing with andrew is cool. but obviously not as satisfying as we convince ourselves it is. it has gotten to the point where it is about three emails at a time, a couple times a day. and i get disappointed when there are no new ones in my box.

i need to step outside the house. maybe hang out with tara. shake off this shroud that is suffocating my ability for coherant thought and writing. watch more good movies. less shitty tv. stop feeling sorry for myself that all of my friends are lightyears away. go out to eat.

there. that is my goal. see tara, rent a movie, eat.

it doesn't help that i am entering the fuzzy abyss of paxil withdrawal. goddamn dr. k. this is totally unintentional on my part. i blanked out on one appointment. i rescheduled. he cancelled. then everything was shut down until today. grr.
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    too lazy to pull out a cd? thats worrisome.

goddamn it

i just wrote this whole big entry. then fucked up (because i'm not using that cute little client that does this shit for you) and deleted the whole thing. i could cry. it was a masterpiece. an opus. a ballad retelling my life until now. when that happens, i have to force myself to at least try to recapture the essence of what i said, or give up altogether. while the latter is tempting, i will try to give a (somewhat) proper update. keep in mind this is frustration talking.

i had a brilliant birthday. the best ever. i got to hang with lanatree. chill with gillian pre-her disappearing into madrid for months. dinner with tara, jesse, sarah, gillian, and sarah's beau tait. watch movies at rory's and then still be back to baltimore

(entry deleted. bitches)
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    humming computer